I AM CALYPSO, tell me your vidya related wish and I will grant it.
Think "Tony Hawk" but with gymnastics and cute girls. Maybe you can level up your custom characters in a story mode/tutorial thing that gives bonus stats to various muscle groups?
Alternatively, JRPGs and Real Life start blurring together.
Granted. But the game lacks a physics engine.
You wish is granted, your waifu is not your roommate. However she isn't interested in you in the slightest and never will be.
Granted, it's remade by the Dark Souls II team.
Granted. Ubisoft will be rebooting the series.
Granted, however the game will need a near NASA level computer to run it.
Granted. However they're now region locked and said region locking cannot be bypassed.
Granted, you're now an actual racer in a real f-zero game. However you're soon t-boned off the road by a Korean and killed.
Granted, mission 51 is release. It's sold as a separate game just like Grounds Zeros except at retail price.
The anon asked to live happily with his waifu, not for his waifu to live happily with him. You had a prime opportunity to make him happy and his waifu unhappy or something and you fucked up.
You fucked up now, Calypso. Make amends or I'm gonna drag you to hell again.
>Granted, however the game will need a near NASA level computer to run it.
Fallacy. Among the promises there's optimization and specific minimum/recommended requirements.
>I wish only the contestants of twisted metal could die during the tournament.
Granted. However the people who would have died during the tournament instead die the second it's over.
Fine. Granted. However he and his waifu have develop an NTR fetish and act it out nearly every night.
Granted. Modern Bioware is taking the reigns and making some changes.
Granted. Exclusively for the Nintendo DS.
New twisted metal game
please Calypso you know you want too
I wish for a mainline 3D SMT to be released for ps4 using the Persona 5 assets.
>Fallacy. Among the promises there's optimization and specific minimum/recommended requirements.
Fine smartass. Granted. However it's delayed for 2 years.
Granted, however it's just like Twisted Metal 2012
Fine, you want worse? Exclusively for the Game Boy Color.
Granted, it's now only obtainable in an exclusive MGSV collectors edition which costs 120$ and is low print.
Granted. However they decide to reuse the main cast too and basically wind up turning mainline into a side story to Persona.
Granted. Reviewers and critics alike praise it for being good. However it's actually mediocre.
Granted. However he opts to go for something safe that will make him money rather than something creative.
I want Calypso, the wish granter, to become real and my husbando so we can adopt lots and lots of babies :3
Granted, however they're replaced with CCOs. Colossal Co-op Online
Granted. However Sonics arms remain blue indefinitely.
Granted, you get to fuck a random man name Calypo's ass with a Zelda TM themed dragon dildo.
I wish Mima was playable in the next Touhou game
I wish you to release a MGSV free patch that adds 50 good side missions, fixes motherbase being dead, adds another chapter that has missions until Venom's death and adds a motherbase in land that ends up as Outer Heaven and lets you play every mission in the mode you want to. For every platform the game is in and it changes nothing other than what was mentioned.
Granted, you now have a good new game where you play as a Metroid.
Granted, However the patch is VTM:B vanilla levels of broken and never gets fixed.
Granted, it's here. Locked at 30fps and 720p
Yeah right. Like Todd would actively hunt down one person who woushitshitshitfucknoohnogottahidenow
I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread, light mustard, no mayo. Now, I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises. Got it?
Granted, however they now oppose it instead.
Granted, however you're there with me
Granted, she's in love with the guy you hate
You all get picked up and brutally raped by a pedophile
Granted, you choke on it.
Granted, you get a true sequel to Fallout NV that is as Fallout 3 was to Fallout 2
There's limits to even my power anon
Granted, he sells Nintendo to Microsoft
Granted, however they're already pre-used and none of them brush their teeth.
You don't get to have any, Axel.
>Granted, however you're there with me
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Granted, however the game pulls an MGS2 and the main character winds up being an extremely flanderized "brawl in the family" esque Waluigi.
Granted, you're so mindbroken you're happy. However your cute little girl body is brutally raped, mangled and thrown in a dumpster covered in semen.
That was the joke
Granted, however no one other than you made a wish this year. Also a cow shits on your head.
I wish for your wishmaking abilities to be taken away
Granted, you're now the best at being dead.
Granted, your lives end immediately as any action on my part will cause negative side effects or cost.
Granted. It plays just like DmC
Granted, they're taken away and replaced with wish GRANTING abilities.
No, Spectre was this guy, buddy.
Shadow, I believe.
I wish for you, Calypso, to preorder Fallout 4, and no, you can't cancel or return it
Granted, it gets deleted. However it's recopied over your universe which is then overwritten.
Granted. However your disc is cracked/digital copy is bugged without any sort of fix/patch.
Granted, however I am now the only person who has pre-ordered it.
The other guy you hate
Granted, we're going to the finest resultant.
In hell. I'm not driving you back either.
Granted, however it requires the sacrifice of every other good game in existence.
>Granted, we're going to the finest resultant. In hell. I'm not driving you back either.
I wish for a new dwarf fortress but with a sane UI.
Granted, you get killed instead.
It stopped existing long enough to count.
like you're gonna live
Granted, however it's casualized to all hell
Granted, however my powers transfer with me.
It was intentionally lousy
It took place in TM2 Sweet Tooth's head. Calypso was mostly silent because Sweet Tooth hated Calypso for being arrogant and powerful. And he killed Calypso in his ending just because he could while no one else did
I wanna have a cool vidya hat of your choosing
I wish for a sandbox game that has GTA and Sims 3 features (driving around, enterable buildings, building relationships, eating, sleeping and have a family that you can also control).
I wish for a completely HD remake of Shadowman with improved controls and combat.
There's serious potential in that game if it played well.
Granted, you get a bright pink Ghastly Gibus
Granted, however it has the triple the loading screens and loading time of The Sims 2
Granted, you're allowed a 30% refund
I wish YOU never existed, wish granted me.
Granted, Bioware is taking the reigns.
Granted, and release exclusively for the Sega Genesis.
I wish that Obsidian makes a direct sequel to Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines. Oh, and make it an open world RPG while you're at it.
I want you to work like the Wish Granter from S.T.A.L.K.E.R.
I wish for a utter and permanent crash of the entire vidya industry.
That is: no more videogames, ever, any copy made before the crash is hunted down and destroyed.
The only thing remaining are boring, socjus, edutainment programs focusing on Common Core stuff
Granted, 2 people buy it.
Granted, however Video Games stop coming out
Granted, it's even buggier than the original.
Granted, it crashes and lands right on top of you.
Granted, but now with more corruption.
Also I have a wish for myself. I didn't think this thread would so popular. I wish this guy would take over for me. >>315307235
I wish /v/ wasn't shit and went back to it's older days when it was legitimately funny
and anons faced with a monkey paw dilemma could quite easily whip up a 5 post long lawyer-from-hell-proof wish
>Granted, however they're already pre-used and none of them brush their teeth.
It's not like they can't be cleaned or anything, and it's not like they can't start brushing their teeth, or at least using stuff that freshens your breath.
>Granted, however Video Games stop coming out
I can live with that. I have al lthe vidya I'll ever need. Hold on, what if I try to make a game?
If I tried to make one, would I die?
Granted, we've gone back in time to when /v/ was at its peak. However, the only people who can post are those who started posting in 2015, underage or otherwise.
Granted, all your current and future internet modems have been replaced with Comcast Cable boxes. These boxes cannot be replaced and only display a clear picture on the Lifetime movie network.
Granted, you are now the world's most comfortable chair.
Granted, but it's released on a platform humans will never have access to.
the game isn't shit, instead it's garbage
and also every copy comes with a free swarm of angry bees
Granted, the games are now back up, however to avoid copyright issues, the characters are all replaced with bees. Live bees.