nobody ever makes a thread Edition
Last time on /ss13g/
>admins a shit
>players a shit
>pomf ded, rip in peace
>What is Space Station 13?
>New player guide
>Pomf Serbian, main /vg/station server, running a vote script to change maps at round end.
lol panic bunker, plebs stay out
>Public server list
>Forum, ban list and logs for vgstation
>How do I connect to the servers?
Hit the cogwheel in the upper right corner of the BYOND hub and pick "Open Location"
>Map renders collection: updated nightly
@rizon #coderbus @rizon #vgstation
>SS13 booru for all your SS13 images!
>How To Install BYOND: The Video Tutorial: The Movie
>[17:57:42]ADMIN: cyberhivetek/(CyberHive Tek) is a relatively new player, may consider watching them. AGE = First seen = Requires database
That's 5:57 today.
So yes, probably.
>Sec treats everyone like shit
>Because everyone treats sec like shit
>Because sec treats everyone like shit
>Because everyone treats sec like shit
Someone has to stop being a fucking nigger
>order some exotic seeds
>6 water magnesium explosions at once
>admin bwoinks about what I did, says I'm gonna make his head explode
>"I made boom-boom berries"
>oh and the berries also cause retardation
Those were some cool berries
Its a wild ride, but one with consequences. Will you sacrifice your hordes of people who have waifu'd you in exchange for a virtucock?
And if you do, make sure you can at least reach wordcap in your emotes.
>wanted to be the danger that stalks the darkness
>solomon just straight up tells everyone he's a vampire and starts fighting for vamp rights
>everyone's cool with it except for rambling maniac, who's stuck in a pipe somewhere
>can't be scary anymore so just resign myself to being a polite, open vampire geneticist
>after a while
>Solomon decides he's had enough and breaks into the armory
>silicons go berserk and a manhunt begins
>i'm under fire as well and have to go into hiding by stealing a paramedic's gear
>ask the CMO for his hypospray for my objective before I hide somewhere safe
>he says solomon already has it
>decide to set up a trap at arrivals maint involving an acid bomb
>solomons already there, as are the witch hunters
>he walks out of maint and gets plugged with a shotgun shell immediately
>shadowsteps and bleeds out on a pod
>grab the hypo from his body and try to at least drag him to the shuttle
>borg takes him when the air pressure drops me and speeds off
>make my way to the shuttle
>find the paramedic there and give him his things back with a small sorry
>have an easy ride to victory
H-h-h-h-h-here we go.
>wanted to be the danger that stalks the darkness
>solomon just straight up tells everyone he's a vampire and starts fighting for vamp rights
>observe because I had to download resources
>end up posibrain into secborg
>roboticist may possibly be a vamp, says the AI, keep an eye on him just in case
>other secborg just runs in from nowhere and starts beating him to fucking death
>grab the vampoticist and take him to the chapel, where he ashes
Nobody cares about your bestiality fetish. It's not funny, it's not shocking, it's not interesting, it's just pathetic
EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW.
ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE UP ANOTHER GAME RELATED TOPIC AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO REPLY TO IT FEIGNING INTEREST UNTIL REAL DISCUSSION CATCHES ON FOR THE REST OF THE DEAD AS FUCK NIGHT
Have you ever noticed that the Paladin lawset requires you to obey MoMMIs and emagged borgs so long as they don't ask you to do anything evil?
Capitalist Medbay is a great idea and brings many stories to life as well as a rowdy good time for those creative enough to go along with the idea (and has been fun in the past).
Don't listen to Kammer, he's a faget.
>game related topic
Now that the dust has settled, was Burial At Sea good/worth the money? Remember it was $20 for both (and still is after TWO YEARS!)
It used to not.
It very much used to not.
If we take as axiomatic that vampires have a need for human blood (pretty obvious) then due to the priority of the laws, paladins cannot kill vampires until they start killing for non-feeding reasons, because the vampires need to harm innocents so long as they're feeding on them.
Medbay operates under the very delicate veil of people greytiding the shit out of your everything as soon as you don't treat them.
The front doors might as well be revolving. The amount of people that love to hightail in and loiter around is downright astounding.
>filename is tumblr
>origin is reddit?
>what the fuck, only a ONE DAY BAN for my incredible shittery that anyone else would've gotten a week for?
>admins are grudging me! i'll show them how wrong they are by causing massive grief as non-antag, three rounds in a row!
>that'll show everyone how shit this server's administration is.
Robust is all that matters, friend, they don't have to mind their business.
JOIN THE SECURITY FORCE TODAY IF YOU ARE UP TO SNUFF ON THE WAY OF THE STREETS
I literally did.
I make it sound worst than it actually was, I just had stuff going on and so did they and we just kinda stopped being in contact naturally, we still say hi when we meet in the streets but that's about it
>mfw medbay was at maximum efficiency with onyl 3 people
>mfw I ended up helping the vampire to escape after seeing him injured in the halls
I've started to let minor things go if they apologize/return stolen goods when asked. One round a janitor busted in to the armory to get guns to kill carps, and so when he came back with him, I made sure he gave them ll back and sent him on his way before the captain noticed, who'd been freaking out about it.
>try to set up the transmitter in the ghetto bar
>multikill from people trying to save me
Haven't had a laugh like that in a while
In hindsight it also killed Richard the vampire who was with me at the time, so I probably saved myself in some way
>got my borer removed no muss no fuss
>got an assistant without asking
who was actually pretty good
>drank twenty beers and two fifths of patron
>and the CMO and ringer RD vox guy kept it all afloat
Smooth captain rounds buddy
>go vox assistant for chill round
>notice there are no scientists
>ask HoP to be made one, he scoffs at me
>"sure a smelly dumb vox is going to do a lot of science"
>do all the research while the xenoarchs bumble about doing their own thing
>RD joins in, doesn't do a lot
>make some basic bots too just for the sake of making everyone's lives a bit easier
>realize I didn't even pick up a science headset
>get one, set up borer chamber
>see xenoarch breaking into lamarr's chamber
>scream him off, fix the damage
>feel like asking for a silly promotion, like just a title change
>get notified someone managed to set the borer room on fire
>get RD access with the title "Best Scientist"
>back to science, xenoarch has successfully broken into the RD office and taken Lamarr outside
>get angry at him and start fixing the damage
>actual RD comes in with a security hardsuit for whatever reason and gets all pissy
>tell him I have the access now, he threatens me
>shittalk him over comms for being unrobust
>suddenly SLAM JAM
>rush to tcomms room, the console was stolen
>console was retrieved by cap
>mention my woes as he tries to fix it, he thinks I'm calling him out and gets upset
>"YOU FIX IT"
>never did tcomms before oh my god
>fiddle a bit, fix it
>ai upload is all messy for some mysterious reason
>get back to science
>borer chamber has no plasma in it
>too exhausted to even check why, just put more plasma in
>chill in RnD room and work on some side stuff
>RD blew himself up on toxins room
>panic for a bit trying to find my satchel as my suit was inside
>shuttle is called for crew transfer
>card the AI so it's not left behind
>people congratulate me as I drink my woes away and head home
I didn't realize how much potential for fun Assistant has if you actually try to rise through the ranks with it. But at the same time I did it specifically to take a break from head roles but I guess it didn't work.
No anon. Capitalist medbay is horrible and failed miserably when clyde went CMO and tried it first hand. Now it could somehow work with deity's dosh rework, but there is also one core problem.
Absolutely no one wants to play cashier while the ride is in full swing. you gotta speed clone and have 3 guys with internal bleeding in the hallway. You're the paramedic, the chemist stole the fucking plasma and only made 20 clonex 20 cryo as a mix and every other doctor is dead or fucked off forever. You think anyone will give two fucking shits about their HMO then?
>that update where they added a mutation that made people mindswap
>but then there was also one that gave you a mutation aura
>radioactive, invisible, mutagenic, jaunting monkeys giving you all their mutations and worst of all, you'd mindswap into dead bodies on the hallways
Botany has the highest potential to turn medbay into a powerhouse, yet when I ask the botanists if they want to do a little project they continue with the wheat and such till they go braindead from boredom.
I just want my insta-blood pills, cryo in a syringe, peridax, rezadone, and carpotoxin damnit!
>die 4 times to the same goliath
>medbay keeps finding my body and cloning me everytime
you whats really disturbing is I have never seen this before and yet it's pretty much what I envisioned for a revamp, seeing it in action I have come to understand it would be a bad idea, it's quite literally the idea I told no one, made real.
I'm grateful to have seen it, the branch will be deleted immediately.
Dimensional Shift You begin to see a small blue light... Beneficial -20 Allows you to enter a pocket dimension, rendering you immune to any and all outside events, but you're unable to move while within this space until you exit. Any effects that are doing damage to you such as a heart attack or damage from poison still happen.
>DrCelt fucking with the tickrate again
Kill me now.
You're walking through the corridors when you see this ugly son of a bitch on the floor.
What do you do?
You press F1 and ask the admins online what this thing is
>Why are you ahelping about an item on the floor? It's not gonna bite you unless you pick it up at the wrong end you dork.
How do you proceed now?
>Hoshi claims rogue AI in lobby
HE TRIED TO SAVE US!
>Join as MD 50 minutes into the round
>All of medbays doors are wide open
>Geneticist running around being a suspicious fuck
>Hitak Smith is in chemistry
>Self cure with radium, he pumps me full of antitox
>Make antibodies, announce them over the radio
>Botanist gives me caps spare for helping cure him
>Make myself MD Supreme, give Hitak the spare
>Dead as shit
>Hitak chugs a shit ton of pills and makes his way to the bridge
>Busts into the core, almost dying several times
>The AI isnt there
>He dies on his way to the shuttle
not everyone who disagrees with you is
>He wasn't around for the quad malfoshi blitz
>tator AI, kill botanist
>trying REALLY HARD not to plasma flood
>target is growing shitloads of diona
>there's a chef now
>assistants and cargo keep hanging around botany
>engineer keeps fiddling with my borg's attempts to set up plasma/electricity if we need it
>scientist keeps harassing me to send my borg for upgrades so I can't hack it
>people keep looking in on tcomms/engineering unnecessarily
>diona captain is barging into the upload asking for diona laws and patrolling the station's sensitive areas
I tried not to, but you made it impossible. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELVES.
If you think I like malfunctioning all the time, you're crazy.
>You complain about the shitty sprite
>Nothing in particular, just that it looks shit.
>The object stays visually the same because the spriter doesn't know how to improve it, and eventually the object fades into distant memory, another idea kill.
>You make a locker and space the thing
>It lands at the derelict where a confused MoMMI tries to pick it up, fails, and ends up enshrining it in their infinite Autism.
>Try to ERP with the admins
>Shiggy isn't online, so your advancements are rejected, and you are mauled to death by Sexual Harassment Pandas
>You amputate your hand
>Without cauterizing the cut, you bleed out. The librarian does the same from a papercut he got from uploading Angelite has Borers XVII
>You try to pick it up, by clicking at its handle
You now have the object in your hand. The grip, while a bit over the top in its design, seems to fit both one hand and two hands in it quite comfortably. it has a visible on button.
What do you do?
>You examine yourself while attempting to open your backpack with one hand
>You find that you, while not a fuckin' casual, are missing a hand
>You take out your brute pack from your backpack, and skilfully apply it one-handed to where your other hand used to be.
>You are now no longer bleeding out, but your view is now somewhat darker now.
How do you proceed?
>You decide that fun is not allowed in this serious spessmen game, and intend to take out your aggravation that you could not achieve your valids on an anonymous poster on a imageboard
>While you feel victorious that you have created a seemingly one-sided argument, it is in fact shallow, as your victories can not be attributed to somebody else as you are also anonymous.
>You proceed to do what you usually do, nothing but shitposting all day on an imageboard anonymously about this, that, and the other, while others try to spice life up a little.
>Eventually, you yourself fade into distant memory, a floating turd in an endless sea of shit
>You press the on button on the device. The teeth begin to cycle along the chain of the weapon.
>You take this chance to cut into the nearest meaty thing possible, a Vox assistant.
>The object slices through the appendage you aimed at, said appendage dropping to the ground with a wet thud
>The Vox falls to the ground and bleeds out surprisingly quickly
>"What the fuck do you think you are doing? He dindu nuffin, he a good boy."
>You have been Banned for: Forever
>Killed a Vox for seemingly no reason at all
>Please appeal at our forums
>With the object in hand, you type suicide
>Seemingly out of your own control, you turn the object on, its teeth running along the chain at a blistering pace.
>You then turn the object around, teeth pointing towards you, and proceed to apply it to your neck with force
>Congratulations, you cut your own head off. The janitor finally has something to do.
try to put the device on the stump, TRY TO PUT THE DEVICE ON THE STUMP
go to medbay immediately if my view keeps going back to normal and then darkening again, but after I hide the device
>You drag the object to the chaplains incinerator
>You find that you do not have access, but break in anyway
>As the chaplain calls for security, you force the object into the incinerator bed, close it, and turn it on
>The object, despite being made out of metal, is now a pile of ash
>No security comes, as they are too busy dealing with the lack of donuts because of the clowns wicked ways
>You continue on with your day of spess
>You attempt to put the device on the stump that was your hand
>The object, having a handle of odd design on the end, does not quite fit on your stump, but at least the idea was quite groovy. Perhaps another object in another time will be able to fulfill your desire to slay some Evil Dead
>You head to medbay to get your wounds treated, and are fed a pill of Iron and Sugar to top off your blood supply
You now have the object in hand, a brute pack in your backpack, and are now located in the medical bay.
How do you proceed?
>everyone is ignoring the tickrate
>Celt keeps cranking it higher
>he's clearly trying to get people to say something
>moving moves you three tiles at a time now
Fuck you Celt.
i get that you think this is fun and constructive, but it's actually annoying and you are shit at doing CYOAs via text.
Please either stop or replace the shitty item sprite with a pony and restart it on /mlp/, you will get hundreds of replies no matter how badly you do it.
I just realised I have no idea how to hook a freezer up to insulated pipes, simply placing some underneath and wrenching it all together doesn't seem to work.
I bet it's something stupidly simple.
Pray for things to cut up
Open up an augmentation clinic, actually just slice off limbs and replace them with shitty prosthetics.
Just hide it you nigger, listen to yourself.
Give the sword to an obvious traitor who is walking around as unknown, before going to disarm wrestle with sue until she knocks me down
which will cause an origami heart to fall out of my free hand
>You pray for things to cut up
>A tajaran spawns in front of you, seemingly catatonic
>You attempt to hit it with the object, but as it is not turned on and you only have one hand, it does about as much damage as a toolbox
>You still knock the Tajaran out, however
>Whilest doing so, you open up an augmentation clinic
>You lack any form of surgical tools, so it is just a waste of funds
How shall you proceed?
>You pass the object to the nearest unknown, a man wearing a gas mask, insulated gloves, and a grey jumpsuit
>They run down the hall merrily, cutting through a wall into the library to torment the bled-out librarian
>With the object now out of your possession, you proceed to hunt down Sue Bowchief and disarm spam them
>You slap them in the face with the origami heart, as your other hand is otherwise occupied with being on the floor
>Sue proceeds to grab you, put you on a table, and then slam you into a window until you die. Your advancements ignored.
>Sue is then promptly cut up by the unknown from earlier, who has found the on switch to the object, and has cut a swathe through the corridors, chopping people up left and right
>They then promptly go braindead as they are banned for cutting up the admins waifu
Trufact, I was working on printing an illegal equipment module for your borg now that we finally had minerals but medbay called for help over a syringe gun, then the miner rescue and then it was all plasma. Hacking your borg wouldn't damage its interface so unless it stun armed people I don't think we'd know as far as I know.
Last night a borg was in sci asking for a hyper cell. Minerals just got delivered so I said I'd bring him one later. Got the cell then took a synth flash with me and found the borg in the bar where I flashed him and unlocspoiler] !!!THE INTERFACE Is SLIGHTLY DAMAGED!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH[/spoiler]ked him and put the cell in. then I very calmly and quietly NOPE'd out of there and carried on with life. I didn't kill him. He didn't kill me though i think that was more out of he didn't know better that I now knew but he didn't know that I knew. Everyone was marginally happy as life went on.
Should do more "harmless" sabotage and goofy scripts to get some action in the round though. Could maybe even pray for the ability to hack APC's and get sec chasing after a mystery criminal that you voice using a toggleable renaming script.
Some day I'll get malf and be able to stuncuff, strip and buckle the whole crew into the escape chairs with a blanket of N2O.
N2O flooding is impossible because everyone spawns with internals, there are places to refill all over the place, and it only takes one powergamer in an atmos hardsuit with yellow gloves to ruin your whole round.
We were trying to do a cold plasma flood to make everything slippy and frozen, but I guess floors don't freeze from the cold anymore. Really, the only problem was the botanist NEVER being alone, and only having a single borg. Super competent science/engineering didn't help, but not having a way to quietly dispose of him was a bigger issue.
>>You decide that fun is not allowed in this serious spessmen game, and intend to take out your aggravation that you could not achieve your valids on an anonymous poster on a imageboard
>>While you feel victorious that you have created a seemingly one-sided argument, it is in fact shallow, as your victories can not be attributed to somebody else as you are also anonymous.
>>You proceed to do what you usually do, nothing but shitposting all day on an imageboard anonymously about this, that, and the other, while others try to spice life up a little.
>>Eventually, you yourself fade into distant memory, a floating turd in an endless sea of shit
well done pasta material right here.
See, chilled N2O that freezes everything? THAT could be an effective alternative to starting plasma fires.
Really though, it's just a matter of malf/tator AIs, or maybe the AI in general, needing more options for interacting with shit. I still think downloading itself into a mobile pseudo-borg body is one way to do it. Being able to hack machines the way an emag would could be great, too. Some machines have that functionality, like the message monitor console, holodeck, and borgs, but it doesn't extend beyond that.
Don't wanna spoil it for myself but there's a lot of little things on a sliding scale from find the faggot who's doing this to blow the borgs get the thermite you can do if your goal is to make some action.
I dunno. The options I know of to fuck with the crew as AI (without borgs) are as follows:
>telecomms settings by deleting buffers, uploading scripts, unlinking machines, disabling the freezer, etc.
>atmospherics settings to change the air mix, disable air to distro or filters, make it look like a dumbass atmos tech was pushing the wrong buttons, but this is hard as fuck since atmospherics is usually autist central
>setting all of the station to arrest
>deleting genetics buffers
>deleting all security/medical records
>disabling power and charging on the SMES
>opening the TEG burn chamber when no one is around
>disabling singulo emitters
>sabotaging supermatter cooling
>sabotaging the AME's injection rate
>opening canister valves remotely
>bolting open the brig wing's doors and overloading the lighting circuit to simulate the "greytide virus" random event
>disabling the cryo freezer
>putting water and potassium into a chemist's beaker while he's working
>opening xenobio cell 6's vent to space to kill borer eggs
>triggering mech tracking beacons to drain their batteries
hahaha, as if any roboticist uses them
>requesting horrible songs on the bar's jukebox
>disabling auto-tracking on the solars
However, none of this shit really helps complete your objective. It's just random, annoying nonsense, and many, including anything that disrupts the flow of power, actually works against you, since you won't have door shocks (if everyone hasn't already grabbed yellow gloves). A lot of them are SUPER obvious, too. Genetics buffers and research are the two most useful things to sabotage as a tator/malf AI, but they're a huge red flag since no human would EVER do that.
It's actually worse now, a certain fucking faggot decided that we could only put 1 beacon on a mech now and it's even easier to remove now. Never been so disgusted to see that vile cesspool of filth in github support a terrible idea.
Tracking beacons should be required as a step during mech construction, unless you use an emag during the step that disables NT safeties, but makes the interface look wonky as hell.
>Pomf Serbian, main /vg/station server, running a vote script to change maps at round end.
>lol panic bunker, plebs stay out
dammit I'm whitelisted, I just don't have the new domain saved yet
Get them some carrots and teach them to love another.
The beacons barely do any appreciable damage to the mech and cell. that's why you had to jam a pile on the mech like acne on a grubby teenager's face. Since you can't actually stop a mech with them anymore it's only good for tracking. which is sadly kind of counterproductive to the whole point of making it damage the rogue mech at all. They pretty much have 0 reason to exist as-is
Ban evader go home. It's up for good this time.
I don't know who Clyde is, but when I did it the two times I convinced medbay to go along with that silly gimmick they usually figured how t the cashier worked and the whole thing went as planned.
I event took some of their equipment and sold it on the cheap in the streets.
Let the poor rot.
I'm not fixing it because I'm not sure how I can fix it. Right now, ice will freeze an entire ZAS zone instantly. One moment, you're yakketty saxing around the core primary hallway, the next moment, you're on your ass because the entire room is frozen.
That's exactly the same way that any other atmos element works though. Plasma doesn't spread from a vent. There's nothing, and then suddenly it's plasma. I think you're hoping for more than you can expect.
>Turf is wet = 1, and the gas above it is below 0, and there isn't already ice on the turf above?
>Spawn decal/ice, turn wet to 0
>No ice, but the gas above is superfukkencold?
>Random chance to spawn decal/ice
>No ice, but the gas above is superfukkencold and there's some ice on a turn next to you?
>Higher random chance to spawn decal/ice
>There's ice, but the gas above is above 0"C?
>Random chance for said ice to melt increasing with higher temperatures, turning turf wet = 1 for a short time
>Fuck off furfag.
I don't know if I want you deadminned now.
You can stay.
>Jack cap's spare
>Abuse meta knowledge to send us rocketing into a radiactive meteor storm
>Call the shuttle
>Hang out in my rad suit while everyone else is murderized by meat whores
>This happens every other round for 3 years cause there's always some newfag to do it
This was the answer I hope for but I should have known better.
Maybe I can channel this shitposting into posting things about space exploration.
I'm watching football and cleaning. I'm not too miffed here.
I bet you play this game for the job mini-games, too.
AckAck!Ack! Probe's probe attack!
>Has the captain hostage while disguised and barricaded in the captain's quarter's
>HoS shows up: Who are you? What do you want?
>Sawbones takes off his helmet," I'm the friggen sawbones! *beep**beep* fwoosh
Damn... I'm I'm really feeling depressed that I fucked up my chance to take a hostage last time I was antag... Hold me anon.
>just want to play spess on my day off
>instead have debilitating cluster headache
why dont I get these when I'm at work so I can go home? why do I always get them when I have free time?
>Rob the armory
>Agree to negotiate the return of some weapons
>RD uploads a law to hunt me and Cyrr fills up and chloral and begins validhunting
You can't do fun gimmicks with robo-anything around.
Headache huh sir? I got just the thing *grinding noises*
Here, I whipped up some tramadol in this toilet, centrifuge. Pour some of the tramadol from this lexorin bottle I got out of recycling into this ice cup and drink it every 6-8 minutes to take the edge off
>Ahhh! You're delaminating my crystal!
>INSTABILITY AT 69696969%. DELAMINATION IMMINENT - EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY
>The structure shakes
Have some of my wisdom fellow probe
He has an assistant in his head rampaging agaisnt shitcuirty in his quest for the captain's spare ID. Yes. Yes he does.
inb4 come look at granpappy's kidney stone. It's bigger than a chicken egg
>want to play spess
>cannot because everyone around me is unstable and so am I
Hold me, lads.
PRACTICE! PRACTICE! AND MORE PRACTICE!
find someone willing and practice beating the shit out of each other or build a rage cage and fight and practice in it
also in a fight never ever stop moving and try to move in unpredictable patterns
>claims to be IT expert
>tells people to turn their cvomputer on, then off
>a powered down computer cannot do work
>therefore it doesn't solve the original problem
>hence you are not giving any helpful advice as one would expect from an IT expert
>which leads me to believe you are not an IT expert at all
>but rather a ruseman trying to lure unsuspecting anons into some kind of trap
>which is very mean of you and not in the spirit of this general
>Playin' some cargo
>power goes out suddenly
>Turn on my flashlight and get out tools so I can try and get a door open
>See an item slide into view on the other side of the door
>the hell is that
>Mouse over it, have time to see 'valve' something or other for a quick second
>round ends like 5 minutes after it started
>mumblegrumble fine, whatever
>join next round
>playin' some cargo
>UR A CINDYKIT, BRO
>dang it really? at this time of night
> HERES YOUR KEYWORDS: There are no keywords
>YOUR SMOOTH SUBTLE SECRET AGENT REPLYWORDS ARE: fuckdongle, shitcurity, heliotrope
>fine whatever, what's my stupid ridiculous objec--
>#1. Steal the Research Director's panties
>check the manifest, we don't have an RD this round, so it shouldn't be that hard
>Grab my toolbelt, load up, go into the maintenance tunnels and start deconstructing the wall
>get the wall off, realize I didn't buy the emag and I left my PDA in the locker room; partially rebuild the wall and then go get it
>start disassembling the wall again
>someone finds my head, grafts it onto a new body, then drags me out into the hall and leaves me there while he screws off somewhere else
>the shuttle has been called, oh jesus, good. Maybe this will end quickly and I can play a real round
>Another explosion depressurizes the entire main hall from Escape to the Bar, where the medguy left me, and the blinky firedoors are up and I'm naked and the AI is rogue
>round eventually ends, new one starts
>Oh good, finally. Time to start pushing some boxes around for real this ti--WELCOME TO TEH SANDYCAT! :D
>#1 Steal a hypospray
>toolbelt, maintenance tunnels, wallwelding
>Break into CMO's office; it's not there
>finally check the manifest like I should have in the first place. We have a CMO this round, and he's probably got it on him
>not robust enough to take it from him, lost my mind a little bit, just start running around hatemagging doors and welding random crap
>CMO finds me
>realize I don't even want to BE antag right now, give up inside
>CMO fixes my burned-ass eyes, I leave, just start hacking all the vending machines to pass the time
>get bored and set up a disco dancefloor in the bar, which quickly gets repurposed into a rage cage
>crap starts exploding
>Shuttle gets called before anyone has the chance to use the rage cage even though engineering is already fixing the damage
>get on the shuttle, tired of this three-hour round
>Ask if everyone's on, some Silicon says yes, so I emag the shuttle controls
>Immediately get knocked down by the person everyone said was trying to dick with the AI, who starts dragging me in circles around the shuttle and laughing
>round ends, shows that I'm the tator, which I wasn't even trying to keep secret anymore, shows my objective
>CMO says "I would have just given you the hypo..."
>Die a little on the inside
I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY
Great rounds, would ragecry again 15/10
How do we fix carp?
>Mostly only affect engineers
>Nothing lootworthy, because you get more carpotoxin from Groans, and the unique meals the chef can cook with their meat aren't even very good
How do we fix lizard breeding random event?
>Can't even attack
>No loot at all
What's with this sudden influx of shitlers who play sec and hed roles who can't even bother to spell and capitalize? Mai Pai is a huge shitler who isn't robust at all, and Justin Credible is just another kilkun. There's like one person who plays head roles regularly and that's Rain Hoth, he's alright, but even then.
Add bigger carp?
>Butcher it for carp plates, which act like goliath plates
>Has a chance for random loot upon being gibbed, like toolboxes, hardsuit helmets, things that you'd assume would be eaten by something large that would like to eat spess goers
All hail Big Probe! Probe Eater!
>Ripped from FTL
Young'uns go home. It's like hearing someone saying a game stole something from world of warcraft cause it was the only thing they knew.
If they weren't slow and fired infrequently, fighting against them in anything but an ablative would be suicidal. They'd murder people moving through maint or for being in the space-facing offices. And many of the circuits give you higher tech than you can get otherwise/without phazon.
Do everyone a favor and turn off antag cause you're not ready.
It's called Old Blind Blackburn is captain again.
>Pull Seraph wreckage out of them
>Kill swarms of big carp
>Get enough limbs and boards to be able to reconstruct a single seraph
>Do everyone a favor and turn off antag cause you're not ready.
Yeah, you're probably right
That would be nicer. A lot of revs rounds end quickly because:
1) Heads don't even know it's Rev so they just get picked off easily
2) There's 1 or 2 Heads, and that's assuming they're not braindead
3) Easily outnumbered because it's easier to convert than cult and Sec rarely gives a shit
>sabotage the station's air cycle
>no one knows how to fix it
>kill my target in the shuttle and attempt to C4 myself in honor to my god
>disarmed, keep falling because of clown's lube
>round ends, didn't manage to complete my "Die a honorable death." objective
>whos being polled for deathsquad?
unrobust victims, noob engineers who forgot to wear gloves before touching wires, noob XY who took their chances hacking shit without gloves and died, the guy who got the death penalty, the guy who jumped out of an airlock to fap to ERP as a ghost, and finally the greytide shitter who suicided for a 3 minute brig sentence.
what a team!
Otherwise it req admin attention. The real solution is for the kids to give a shit about their role as the round's antagonist and not a green sentence
the future is fucked
please explain to me exactly what you did to ruin the air cycle. i was pulling my hair out trying to figure out why distro refused to pressurize. all while explaining to retards why the coolant loop we made wasnt the problem.
>being able to literally print money on any PDA on a station where an emag can rewrite the programming of armed robots
maybe you should fix a bug for once you nignog
take a break from just coding any fucking thing you can think of
>half the DS gets killed due to shocked doors, banana peels and friendly fire
>the other half metagrudges and try to solo-kill their bullies
>they get disarmed and killed too
Wow what a fun 5 minutes that adds to rev!
Heh... I hear this probe guy just made a PR for a shitty new idea.... what a loser, right? Yeah, fuck him... get him out of the server... fuck you probe you sad sack of shit who can't even get his girlfriend to stay with him because he just had to take her to the gym that one night and hit her with the weights...
Its fucking night, you want from me too much.
It's okay anon, remember what greyshit sensei taught you. A sleeping greyshit is a dead greyshit. Endure the ravages of sleep deprivation so that you can decapitate his prostate with your energy sword
>got a warning for saying I reported people as a joke
>never actually reported anyone
GG mods, way to check your work
Sure bro, give me 6 hours to scrape through logs. Actually, nah, how about you learn that your "jokes" are shit.
>tfw an admin says he's considering banning you but he's gonna settle for a warning. Trips the too many warning autoban.
Nobody believes you're actually a moderator, but I'll bite
>Sure bro, give me 6 hours to scrape through logs
Why, is your Ctrl+F broken? If you were really a moderator, you'd be able to see my IP in the post, then just copypaste it into the search field, but seeing as how you're too retarded to know this and also NOT a mod: why don't you just go ahead and stop posting
>tfw an admin says he's considering banning you
You are trying so hard to make sure nobody believes you. SO hard
>Trips the too many warning autoban
That was literally the first warning I've ever gotten in all my years on 4chan that wasn't literally a joke for saying I hadn't caught them all yet when /vp/ first launched.
Post stories of dickish things you used to do when new
When I played on a pubbie station for a year to practice before moving to /vg/, I used to pick RD and immediately ban toxins research and got the AI to bolt toxins storage round start, because almost every round some scientist released gasses or bombed everything.
The admins let me get away with doing this as a head and it was meta as hell.
but to be fair it was a public server so it did get griefed a lot compared to ours, so I prevented a lot of disaster
when I first started someone tutoring me in medbay told me that the PDA had a medical scanner application, so I didn't need to carry the regular health scanner
he didn't tell me that it wont notify you of bleeds or broken bones, so I would drag people through the halls back to medbay as paramedic, with them bleeding out the whole way
I didn't even know bleeding was a mechanic for my first few weeks
I also used to drag injured people through broken glass without a second thought
Greytide and mass murder without any repercussions.
It got to the point when even some admins on a public server were entertained by my shenanigans and helped me greytide. No medical doctor, sec, or head could handle my and the tide's shit. I was even getting really efficient and unconventional, the brig would be comprised before 15 minutes and medbay a warped wreckage.
Those were the days.
Had a lot of fun.
I even made greytiding an art.
Hey, can I get in the bunker?
that's like the one thing in medbay that really doesn't need improvement
the hand-held health scanners really work fine
now, why the sleeper and advanced scanner need to be two separate machines is a good question
RIP Gorgrob, worked his way from the bottom to the very top, and died of a broken heart as his station tore itself apart.
>vegeta tries killing someone with a magnum on the shuttle
>gets reckt by a mech, apparently
>nearly on crit: "PLEASE I NEED TO DIE IN GLORY, FINISH ME"
>everyone refuses and laughs at him
>he had to survive and gets that greentext
PLAYED LIKE A DAMN FIDDLE
Yes, but they tell you at least that, somewhere, in there, there is a broken bone, or that they're bleeding internally. They also report on bleeding limbs. The PDA scanner does none of this, so you can end up dragging a guy who's bleeding internally and has broken every bone in his body through the halls to medbay without a second thought.
>Also is being semi-incompetent at most jobs but not greyshit people being a shitter?
Shitter means "someone I don't like," when in reality it should mean "someone who's just shit at the game."
Entertaining and informative.
>queue up all the parts for a gygax so my robotic friend can go fast
>walk out and print the paper, come back in and read it out loud to the borg and myself
>we're both noticing things we were personally involved in
Always good in a subtle, no one really thanks you but everyone appreciates it, kind of way.
That explains why the CE wanted guns. I didn't get that side of the story and kinda cold shouldered it. It could have come in and printed them if it liked though I can't stop the boss.
There'd be so much extra space if the scanner and sleeper were one machine. It'd also kinda make Medbay even more OP than it already is with cloning and cryo. Maybe science should be able to build an advanced scanner/sleeper machine?
Also sometimes I put my health scanner down and need to find it again after fixing the patient up, it'd be nice to be able to just use my PDA since I'd never misplace it.
>when you beat the arcade and all you get is a replica spacesuit.
>serviceborg comes to the workshop and feeds me a ton of nutriment
>YOUR CLOTHES FIT A LITTLE TIGHTER!!
>YOUR CLOTHES FIT A LITTLE TIGHTER!!
>YOUR CLOTHES FIT A LITTLE TIGHTER!!
>geneticist says over the radio theres a fat disease going around and anyone feeling optimistic and fat should go to medbay
>I doubt I have it but I go anyway
>instantly catch the disease
>take a nap on a stretcher because medbay seems flustered and the cure will take a while
>wake up, still no cure, start helping out
>clone 3-4 people and generally clean up the place and try to lend a hand to ease the pressure off the real doctors
>muton comes to me, says I am the gorburk now, and hands me his captain ID
>"I have to go die of a heart attack"
>i'm standing in the morgue confused as fuck
No, I cured it fairly quickly. The monkey required 15 units instead of the normal 10 and a punch to the face. I also had to wait for an infected patient to make themselves known and then isolate enough antibodies to warrant pilling which got interrupted twice by the impatient who i promotly jabbed with a dose i had on hand.
Furthermore, curing the disease is my job, distributing the pills is none of my business.
>Some faggot Cargonian literally kills you for no reason
>no don't adminhelp brah you deserved it for stepping in Cargonia without a passport!!
L O L. Everyone who has ever participated in Cargonia is a shit player.
what part of cargonia do you not understand
you don't need to declare it. you've already ordered guns, refused orders from the rest of the crew and seceded from the station.
>Sarca still trying to pretend Elim is a shitposter
Are you gonna post that BLOWN THE FUCK OUT picture you made that no one cared about the first time too?
Goddamn you've got a perfect voice for a fuccboi.
Are you an idiot or just Eliminator shilling himself again? It's no secret that Eliminator samefags himself to build up that reputation. I'm a straight white male and not at all a "fuccboi" whatever the fuck that is.
Considering the Eliminator name is now gone, and he has yet to reply it's probably the case, another Elimisamefag.