So /x/, I'm a college student studying to become a teach. Majors are education and child psychology. Yeah I know STEM master race and all that, my majors are shit. Whatever, teaching is my passion and I want to help future generations. It's my contribution.
Right now I'm earning a few credits via an internship type deal. Basically I work as a teacher's aid for a school for a semester, and earn credits for it.
For most of the day ( all periods aside from 4th) I am an aid for the school's special needs class. The class exists, as you could probably guess, for those who are considered too mentally handicapped to participate with normal students for some reason or another. A majority of the class is Down's Syndrome or other types of retardation, as you could guess. Though there are four students who are actually genius level in IQ. Two of them are Autism Spectrum, one is a diagnosed sociopath (antisocial personality disorder for those who are politically correct. ), and the other is a paranoid schizophrenic who is mostly functional on medication. These four are kept in this class because they are considered to either not be able to handle the social interactions of normal classes ( the autists ) or are possibly dangerous if provoked or have a breakdown ( the sociopath or schizo. ) .
I have to admit though, they don't really get much challenge since the class is geared towards the Down's kids more than them. As such, since I started I've basically become the four's personal teacher, only needed to help with the Down's kids occasionally.
Last week I gave them an assignment. Basically it was to write something. It could be a report, a short story, anything they wanted. One of the autistic kids did a report on steam engines, the other one future technology. The sociopath wrote a Noir short story. The Schizo however wrote a report on the nature of "terror" or "true fear" .
Now a bit of background on the Schizo is that aside from simply being schizo, he has night terrors. Most of his hallucinations are often nightmarish as well from what I understand. His personality as a result is very dissociated, depressed, and low key. A sad, whimpering psychotic. Almost like a negative Alice in Wonderland.
Now what struck me about his paper was how entirely different his perspective on fear is compared to mine, or most other people's that I know. To quote the paper:
> True terror is in something that is irrevocably broken. In horror movies, it is never the ghost or monster itself that is scary, but instead the brokenness it causes, or that created it. It isn't that the dead is haunting the house, but the warping of the physical house itself, the warping of the sounds and atmosphere itself, and the warping of the universe that causes the dead to influence it. True terror always comes at the realization that something has terribly broken the universe itself. The nature of the eldritch is that which the universe shouldn't allow. It is in its entirety an abomination to existence itself. It is the concepts of the infinite, the primordial, the primal, and the fundamental that truly terrify. This is why death is terrifying: it is infinite. The idea of an infinite, endless void, is psychologically painful to imagine. This same pain can be visited at the creation of the universe. A singularity, in which all time and space exists, surrounded by a vast void of true nothing, something we cannot imagine. It is intrinsically terrifying, and dwelling on it inspires true horror that we perceive as annoyance.
>To illustrate: Imagine you have a small box. The box measures 6 inches tall from the outside. No matter what you use, no matter how accurate or precise the instrument, you will always get 6 inches. It is absolute, comforting, solid. The inside however, measures 7 inches deep. It doesn't need to be this big of a difference. 6.1 inches would be enough. What would you do with this box? Most people think nothing of the idea. Perhaps an amusing oddity. They might take it to a scientist they think to themselves. Truthfully they don't realize the terror of the concept, because they have never really encountered something truly broken and evil. They don't realize that the idea of such a box is an abomination, and terrifying beyond conception. They don't realize how harmful the idea of such a box is, until they finally find something so broken as to show them.
The paper has a bunch of drawings and illustrations as well. The one attached in the OP is what he calls a " Box bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. " . However I cannot find anything about it anywhere. It looks like a magic circle of sorts, but nothing on google for "Satanic/Wiccan/Pagan circle" shows anything like it.
Figured /x/ might have some insight on what it is, or why it would be terrifying. Or perhaps /x/ could discuss the nature of terror or fear, and maybe help me understand where the kid is coming from.
Posting on 4chan will help you keep a job working around children.
Well maybe, there is a plausible way to interpret it that makes it make sense as a box that is bigger on the inside than the out.
A 3d cube is just a bunch of 2d cubes (aka squares) placed together. If we imagine the "box that is bigger on the inside than the outside" as being represented by two 3d rectangles, the outside one having sides of length x, the inside one having sides of length y, where y>x, then you could have a 4d rectangle where two 'slices' give the two 3d rectangles. If we interpret the 4th dimension as being 'insideness'<->'outsideness' the what he said is pretty much coherent, although i dont find it particularly terrifying.
Sounds like he may have read the fairly well known book "House of Leaves" a horror book based on the premise of a house that is bigger on the inside than the outside.
Another way to look at it is not 4 physical dimensions, but a 4th one being time. The box existing in several, or maybe infinite points in time simultaneously. If so its storage capacity would be "bigger" than its physical size.
However instead of assuming that he thinks the geometry is terrifying, perhaps instead it is what it implies. In the OP the boy focuses heavily on "brokenness" or "things that shouldn't be allowed to exist. " .
Perhaps what he finds terrifying about the concept is that something like that shouldn't exist, and "breaks the universe" so to speak.
I'm not really versed on geometry or physics, so I wouldn't know. However to my knowledge 4 dimensional objects don't exist in nature.
If they do though, I'd be hella interested if you could share some info.
Also, as for OP, we should remember the kid is a schizophrenic. It isn't like he should make any sense at all.
>The box measures 6 inches tall from the outside. No matter what you use, no matter how accurate or precise the instrument, you will always get 6 inches. It is absolute, comforting, solid. The inside however, measures 7 inches deep.
That's actually pretty spooky. Sounds like he'd be right at home writing SCPs.
How in the hell is that spooky?
At least with house of leaves there was structure, atmosphere, and something malevolent. A box that is simply bigger on its inside than on its outside isn't scary at all.
>a diagnosed sociopath
when you revise this story for your next try, children (under 18) aren't diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder. until the age of 18, it's a conduct disorder. as in, literally by the medical definition, if you're not 18, you cannot have antisocial personality disorder.
6/10 otherwise though. not bad.
I think this makes perfect sense and was probably more likely written by OP than a schizophrenic. I realize schizophrenics are of varying lucidity, but all the schizophrenics I have worked with would have been incapable of this purposeful writing, sentence structure, and word usage.
The thing which is scary about zombies is less their physical danger, or their appearance. It's that they have broken the principles of our reality, and all is lost. Poltergeists are realistically minimally physically threatening -- the emotional turmoil is that there is no truth. The dead or the dying float up into the rafters and continue some sort of experience, there is no order in even our own mortality, so all is lost. Directors of japanese horror cinema have commented on this theme in film -- no explanation is scarier than an explanation. There is no battle to be fought, there is no horror that can be undone, because the principles of our reality are bankrupt and the horror is from conceiving of the infinite abyss of un-knowing. The protagonists in japanese horror films can only hope to survive, and even if they do, all is lost.
OP here. Conduct Disorder is a copout. Kids don't always behave properly, and so can do things which seem sociopathic, sure. But kids who simply misbehave aren't ever really diagnosed with conduct disorder. Instead they get things like ADHD or Autism Spectrum disorders.
Conduct is a nice way for doctors to tell parent's their kid is a sociopath without it having to sound terrible. It's political correctness in order to comfort parents.
Let me take a stab at where the kid is coming from. He clams that true terror doesn't come from the ghost/zombie/skinwalker itself, but from the implications that the mere existence of that abomination causes. Our interpretation of reality, and by extension, the universe, doesn't allow for things like ghosts and zombies. Thus encountering said ghost would imply that something warped and "broke" what we assumed to be true. It means that we have to go back and redefine what was previously assumed to be true, since if a ghost could exist, then perhaps aliens do too etc. Kid then uses an example of a hypercube (the box) which defies common sense. A box that measured 6" on the outside but 7" on the inside would be ground breaking and have heavy implications on what we previously assumed to be "real" and "true" about reality. In his mind, that is the actual meaning of terror.
Quantum Physics kind of broke the universe in our minds. It made us revisit everything we know. Billions of people didn't go mad in terror gnashing their teeth, scientists didn't kill themselves in mass.
Perplexing, paradoxical, frustrating to conceptualize, all of these might be true. "Terrifying" it is not.
Then again, the kid is supposedly crazy, so like others have said, we shouldn't expect it to make sense.
A box that's bigger on the inside than on the outside you say? Sounds like Timelord technology
It really doesn't seem something terryfing...
>So /x/, I'm a college student studying to become a teach.
>become a teach.
No need to ask which country you're from.
>Last week I gave them an assignment. Basically it was to write something.
Well at least you're not a bad educator, even if you are an Aussie.
>/x/ starved for oc so badly that it praises shit.
I get where he's coming from. The idea of an unanswered question, or unsolved mystery in and of itself could be enough to instill fear. That the most terrifying thoughts are usually those that exist outside logic.
If we had every answer to every question ever asked /x/ would cease to exist. But none of this negates from the fact that the kid is a schizo. Who else but the mentally ill would consider a box spoopy?
>hating on the first genuinely interesting thing I've seen on /x/ all fucking year
>he probably lurks tarot threads
>he probably tried to summon succubi
>he probably has a tulpa
I've been posting on 4chan since 2004, and I've been working with children and young adults that whole time.
An attempt to understand the fucked up little bastards was what brought me here in the first place.
Browsing 4chan at work would probably get me fired, but unlike most lazy ass office workers, teachers actually don't get much of a chance to fuck around on the interwebs at work.
It harkens back to a creepy pasta from a while ago, to me at least. Something about why things that are unnatural to human, like aliens in movies and whatnot, are terrifiying, and if something in our history has caused this inert feeling of dread and misery when presented with something that isn't valid in context of our world's laws of physics and nature. `
>anime at all
OP what your schizo kid says kind of correlates to a hypothesis of mine. I believe this dimension or universe we are in is the reality of matter, but the next dimension is the reality of time, and surpasses matter. When we die, this is where we go, and concepts like this box, are completely possible. Now, the pineal gland is often associated with spirituality and the afterlife, and many people experience nightmares and fear when their pineal glands become active. I too have felt this feeling, but my dad used to abuse and terrorize me and eventually I had enough and started fighting back. Since this, I no longer fear like normal people. Now when I have 'nightmares' I control my fear and embrace it, and the dreams I have are very vivid and actually help me solve problems on a day to day basis. In addition to this many of my dreams allow me to see the future by trying to imagine it. I believe that we humans can tap into the higher dimension, and that if we embrace that fear, and conquer it, we begin ascension. But some of us, like your schizo, are so afraid to lose this reality that they cling to, that they feel terrorized. There is nothing to glean but JOY from the schizo's box, but the fear is body's will to maintain the soul, which is of the time dimension. Hope that makes sense to a degree, I'm no professional, and I wish I had someone who was more experienced than me at these things so I could learn more, but you could help your schizo kid with his nightmares by teaching him lucid dreaming, and encouraging him to feel power over those nightmares.
Fair enough, but it isn't like the kid in OP has ever held something that breaks the laws of physics in his hands. I'm fairly certain nobody has ever held a hypercube in their hands.
So it isn't like he has a reason to be afraid of the things he says he is afraid of.
>inb4 this happens
>inb4 kid starts experimenting
>inb4 kid self teaches astral projecting without realizing it
>inb4 all powerful demon spirit thing possesses his body and kicks him out
>inb4 all powerful spirit thing accidentally ends up stuck in the body of a child with a fucked up brain
>one is a diagnosed sociopath (antisocial personality disorder for those who are politically correct. ),
Story is fake. Psychologist here we wouldn't and can't label a child that. We give them conduct disorder but we can't label them psychopath at that age.
OP basically said (in quote above) that conduct order is just a way for therapists to be nice to parents. Kids who simply misbehave never get it and kids who get it are fairly fucked up.
Can you imagine,
>>Be demon totally awesome
>>All the succubi want to bang me
/10 would haunt myself
>>Go to the human world for lulz
>>Possess people because super bored
>>get stuck in retard
>>Find out I have spaghetti coming out of places even I couldn't make peasoup come out of
>>Try to suicide
>>Retard is suicide watched
>>No one pays attention to my funny voices or temper tantrums.
>>Stuck in retard for 30 years
>>Go back home smelling of spagheti
Nope your basically retarded.
Math just doesn't randomly assign time a dimension, it just deals with 4 (or more spatial dimensions like a man). Its not impossible, its not even that hard to comprehend , the graph of the hypercube included is actually pretty helpful for coming to terms with 4 dimensionality.
All of you people are idiots. You're given a story and all you can get out of it is "boxes aren't scary" and "well he's crazy so don't expect it to make sense". It makes perfect sense. The kid or whoever wrote it is pretty smart. The kid obviously doesn't think a fucking box is scary. What is scary is that there are things out there which we can't understand. It's impossible to because they just don't make any sense. It's impossible to make sense out of it because it's completely broken and shattered. Now let's take this and combine it with the idea that the kid is schizo. Schizos live in a completely shattered reality. Nothing seems to be put together and everything they think is real suddenly breaks down and falls apart. They try to make sense out of what's going on but it's literally impossible. I mean let's put it into perspective. Let's say one day everything seems to be going well, then out of nowhere you start seeing things that aren't really there and you start hearing voices inside your head. I'm 100% sure most of you would be scared shittless. I would be. So THAT is what's scary. Living in a world that will never make sense because reality is to broken and shattered it can never be put together.
>bigger on the inside that it is on the outside
it's like playing the demo for the videogame and thinking you played the entire game. you never wonder why you finished it so much faster than everyone else, you just assume it's cuz you're better than them. you don't even have a chance to win or lose, you just play 'til you run out of time and nothing you do matters.
that's what being a sociopath is like.
The concept of 'brokenness' being true terror has been explored before.
That said I still think that 'danger' and 'powerlessness' combined is true terror.
Lets face it. Human's are simple animals, and the thing that scares us most is us or our loved ones being harmed and being powerless to affect that outcome.
Infinity and impossibilities might be hard to grasp but they never kept me up at night.
>our loved ones being harmed and being powerless to affect that outcome
that's the greatest fear of most mature, healthy people, certainly. i think it's interesting that a schizophrenic child finds the concept of absurdity (less metaphorical than "brokenness" as well as less emotionally loaded) to be the source of fear.
i tell you this much, you get to sleep at night because you do not grasp infinity. in my limited (badumpsh) experience with the absolute it tends to get you very, very awake.
recall the nature of this kid's night terrors.
think about the difference between a schizophrenic break and a religious experience. think about what it means that the absolute means absolute terror, to a schizophrenic.
The problem is that schizophrenia causes delusions. And while a person with schizophrenia might feel intense fear and terror as a result of their condition, it's not 'true' terror. More like the illusion of terror.
Don't get me wrong, as somebody who's had their share of nightmares I know that an illusion can feel as real as real. But ultimately illusions and dellusions dont produce any useful information. You wouldn't say that 'true happiness' exists in a manic.
we're not talking about information, we're talking about emotion. terror is terror whether it is produced by a material phenomenon or an illusory phenomenon. in other words, according to edmund burke, people tend not to be "mistaken" in their emotions the way they are often mistaken in their thoughts.
true but thoughts are universal, like math. emotions are all over the place. certain people are deadened to certain emotions or the response to the emotional trigger/state can vary between individuals.
emotions are the worst way to judge validity. while it is objectively truth to the one experiencing it, it is wholly alien to anyone outside. we only assume we can relate because 'hey, if I can feel it so can they' but that is not true. you will never understand the context of anothers emotional response.
True terror would be if we could fully understand each other. fully and innately. Shit would destroy society. We need our half communication to pretend that all the other people we interact with are the same (functionally) as us.
Could you imagine the horror of looking into a rapist/pedo/serialkiller/autist and truly absolutely UNDERSTANDING their thoughts. not rationalizing, understanding.
artifical construct to measure the change in dimensions, being the only way to monitor these things in context.
my theory is that time is akin to dimensions but only as 2d is to 3d. Time is measured on a 2d plane - forward and backward. Im guessing theres a 3d version of time that accounts for the 'safety net' of reality that accounts for the underlying building blocks to keep reality functioning.
All of reality works or moves toward working better as a result of a 3d time concept that accounts for "possible realities." the laws that dictate everything works on a macrolevel evolution that reaffirms itself with this 3d time assessment.
Reality cannot break/cease because it itself knows which of its laws will work and which wont. the laws that wont either never manifest or die out early in existence and all cosmic complexity is built from the ground up.
Cosmic evolution has never taken and cannot take a wrong path because of this.
>recall the nature of this kid's night terrors.
>think about the difference between a schizophrenic break and a religious experience. think about what it means that the absolute means absolute terror, to a schizophrenic.
Being as polite as possible, I don't understand what you're driving at here.
Even in the OP, death is shown as an example. It is absolute, and it scares the ever loving shit out of people. The absolute being terrifying isn't really special. So I don't see why it would be significant that a schizophrenic finds the absolute terrifying.
Also, from my understanding there is a load of difference between a religious experience and a schizophrenic break. One being a transcendent and enlightening experience that uplifts and individual. The other being a nightmarish fever dream walk through hell that never really ends even with medication.
>So it isn't like he has a reason to be afraid of the things he says he is afraid of.
Are you really that stupid?
>"Hurr durr he's afraid of things that don't exist" >The boy is saying that witnessing something that isn't supposed to exist is true horror.
He's saying that the moment you realise everything you have built your definition of normal and "real" on, comes crashing down, it's time to panic and redefine everything.
>Clinically insane child writes amateurish ramblings that are of interest to no one, the thread.
Looks like someone have never seen something bigger on the inside.
>Imblyign you understand quantub meganigs
It's almost as if you haven't actually read any of Lovecraft's stories
OP here. I wasn't expecting this thread to still be around.
Anyways today was a bit... weird. I'm going to be talking with the student's parents soon. I'll likely be back in a few weeks tops to post an update, as well as actual photo's of some of his drawings which are quite bizarre.
For a little context, apparently over the weekend he went off his meds and hadn't slept for 3 days. I called his parents because he was acting really manic and rambling a lot, and they thought he had been taking his meds. Turns out he had been throwing them back up later.
In his rambling he told me a lot I can't really explain right now and gave me a few notebooks he'd been using as a journal. Once I have a clear idea of what any of this means I will be giving you all an update with a ton of content.
Thanks for all your help and insight.
Pic is a recreation of on of his drawings, which he calls "the architect" . Using google I can't find anything like it relating to a hypercube or multi-dimensional geometry. However I'm sure I'll figure it out. Recreated in MS paint, sorry for the pain. Real photos to come in a week or two, with timestamps and everything.
Sleep well /x/.
It's just a lazy drawing without curves. He probably did it because he's lazy and could make that with only a ruler. It looks deep/edgy like a magic circle but has no real meaning or power. He's just a dumb kid trying to be interesting. Wouldn't doubt if the schizophrenia is entirely an act for attention and he quit taking the meds because he doesn't actually need them.
Teachers and parents are so fucking gullible, jesus christ. He's literally like a self diagnosed autist I bet. Why are you feeding into his need for attention?
I can relate to that true fear
I was without medication and smoking some hasj
the clouds and cars were fragmented and my heart racing
I was convinced I broke reality, broke time
I still get it sometimes but less hard
I hate to be the guy on /x/ to bring Lovecraft into it, but he divulges on the same kind of deal, I suggest you look into Cosmic Horror. Another author, Danielewski, uses the exact same kind of terror as your box in House of Leaves in fact, but it's a common enough trope in the supernatural.
Basically, the real terror of it is that the universe just doesn't conform to our perceptions and sensibilities, and it either never will or attempting to rationalise it is an exercise in insanity. I imagine that would be greatly terrifying for someone whose grasp on reality is strained, every day they have to struggle with defining what is and what isn't within our grasp. If he tried to piece together something beyond the human limit, he might be lost forever, or suffer from whatever consequence 'knowing' the unknowable entails. So, he's terrified that he might make an error, step beyond the bounds of the box he's constructed. In fact, he believes that the error is only a matter of decimal places. That error, that permanency, that 'death', however slight, exists, and he believes in it.
It might just be me, but I'd be scared of that too.
Let's think about the box, but scale it up to fit a human being (Maybe even house sized). Now, this person has seen the outside of the box, walked around from every side, run his or her fingers over it, done everything to make sure it's real.
Now you put him in the box. Now, the box is completely solid, no light can get in and how the person got inside the box is a matter of formality (one way door or something). Run your hands around the box, pace a little and realise that you were completely wrong. It's that much larger. It occupies space that it shouldn't, space you touched earlier. Such a thing is entirely impossible, and yet it suddenly is. What else, then, is possible?
(cont., hope I'm making sense)
Granted, the box is a very mild example, certainly not mind destroying in itself. We can only communicate the visions of things alien to reality only through analogy, after all. Cthulhu isn't really a world-sized rubber suit octopus headed dragon creature, that's just the closest we can get. Yog-Sothoth isn't really a bunch of floating orbs at the edge of existence, that's just what we can understand of it. The box, right there on the paper, as opposed to beyond time and space, lets us understand it to a better degree, and there lies the danger. Within that degree lies doubt, and doubt is the ultimate destroyer, the eroder of will, and the ultimate doubt, the destroyer of all destroyers, is doubting your own reality, or at the very least, your perceptions of it.
It is a mercy that our perceptions are so limited, that we might only see a tiny fraction of the universe and die a sanitised death, since even death can be conquered, if you ask your priests. Your student is in a situation where that mercy is waning. The infinite for him is at his fingertips, he can't not doubt the nature of it, it's staring him in the face. It's entirely ridiculous to us without the disease of real hallucinations and true delusions, and that is fine with us. We KNOW the box is really only so many centimetres or metres across without ever going inside the box, or we KNOW there are answers and everything will be okay once we get out of the box, or we KNOW someone or something familiar will be there to comfort us and wish all the inconsistencies away once we get out of the box.
Now if only you could GET OUT OF THE DAMN BOX.
Fuck, that is a lot of commas.
So despite the roughness of that, I hope I shed some light on things OP. Again, you should look into supernatural or existential horror. Lovecraft, Poe, Ligotti, that sort of thing.
>Sleep well /x/.
>mfw I missed him by 10 hours
Well, shit. Look forward to seeing what comes up, though.
The Architect is interesting, I suppose creating figures, however basic, would probably be comforting. You can direct whatever you feel like at God, and he'll be your personal silent witness. Maybe he judges, maybe he forgives.
A bit of personal conjuncture (well alright, a bit more than usual), I'd say for my theories to hold any water the afflicted geometry would probably be the best place to start. Maths is simple, it is rigid, 2 + 2 = 4 will always be the rule no matter how many boots to the face humanity takes, and you can express it in geometric patterns with a steady hand and a little bit of know-how.
At least, until doubt overwhelms the senses and your perceptions on everything. The box is impossible until it is revealed, Cthulhu is impossible until it towers over you, 2 + 2 = 4 until Big Brother makes it 5.
We can only surrender to doubt and live if we have hope that we will be corrected, that reality, physical and percieved, will be mended. Without a chance of being corrected, without the means to mend reality, surrendering is death.
You will stay in the box forever.
>mfw I forgot my face
>mfw I wear no mask
>It is the concepts of the infinite, the primordial, the primal, and the fundamental that truly terrify. This is why death is terrifying: it is infinite. The idea of an infinite, endless void, is psychologically painful to imagine. This same pain can be visited at the creation of the universe. A singularity, in which all time and space exists, surrounded by a vast void of true nothing, something we cannot imagine. It is intrinsically terrifying, and dwelling on it inspires true horror that we perceive as annoyance.
Written by an immature mind that has degraded sense of self and therefore finds it difficult to care about others. Real terror is the phone ringing in the middle of the night.
All this stupid shit about the universe, please.
OP pic is a tesseract, a 2d depiction of a 4d cube, big deal.
You're probably right, but it's really just a larger box outside the little box isn't it? More room for more people.
Most would rather cling to each other for comfort than reach out to touch impossible space, either blindly or intentionally.
Reality by consensus is easy, reality by individual can be a minefield.
>difficult to care about others
>everybody's opinion but mine is stupid!
>no, this can't possibly be an individual coming to grips with their psychological condition
>Real terror is an eighties horror movie cliche!
That pic is metatron's cube, which is interesting because it contains all of the platonic solids, is the basis for a fair number of fractals, and if you erase some of the lines, is a hypercube.
If he's off his meds don't expect to make much sense of anything he's been saying at that point.
As for what you asked about in the OP it just sounded like really typical Lovecraft/Machen (Great God Pan) type of stuff. It's a sort of subset of horror predicated on the idea of forces beyond human comprehension that seem to twist and distort everything logical being the only true form of "terror".
tl;dr: he's probably into lovecraft, either for fun or as something he takes really seriously as part of his paranoid schizophrenic delusions